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I wish i had the courage to post more songs and poems that I've written on here. The only one i did post on here was because I read at a poetry reading. Its the only one I've been brave enough to read. I'm also pissed because I had alot of my writing on a computer I once had that crashed and died for all eternity. So those are lost. Plus it had part of my story on it. That really pissed me off. It discouraged me from writing my book for a long time. How would you like to rewrite a book all over again from memory. Its kind of hard to recapture the essence of the original

Angry

I'm so angry lately. I dont know why. I wake up not in a good mood. wanting to punch someone in the face. Today i had the rawest attitude. i kept throwing things at the guy i sit next to. He knew i was only messing with him but i needed some kind of outlet and dont know how to let it out. I'm thinking of buying a punching bag for moments like these. Sometimes I wish I could go back to my good old days when i would buy a bottle of 100 proof vodka and down half a bottle and feel nothing. I know thats the easy way out but sometimes I wish I could do that again. I know its unhealthy and that lifestyle is in the past but its so hard not to get wasted and forget everything. and feel numb. and just exist in the moment. i really need that punching bag

Coming Soon

An excerpt from my book that i'm writing

Bad Girls

Watching the Bad Girls Club kinda gets me wondering about some things. Like what exactly makes a bad girl. I love this show but it doesnt really showcase what a bad girl is. At least not the recent shows. Its so much more psychological than what they show on the surface. These chicks thinks that whoever screams the loudest is the baddest. its not about yelling and fighting all the time. They even have people with eating disorders on the show as the sole reason for them being a bad girl! Sometimes I wish I could just go on the show and be like "This is what a bad girl is". If you all qualify, I qualify ten times harder. I can't say what makes me a bad girl, because i cant sit here and reveal that stuff about me. besides if you don't know then I'm doing my job. But yeah. Thats it